I'm Staying Right Here, Mr. President

Dear Mr. President,

I know that you and your fellow politicians like to talk about how you desire for folks like me in the Diaspora to come back home. Fortunately for me, I have never attended one of those forums. I have just read of your call through newspapers.

If I were in attendance during one of those rhetorical speeches, I would have just clapped my hands out of courtesy. Deep inside of me, there would have been this boiling anger and a desire to just slap the heck out of you. You guys are full of crap.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not violent but just a little passionate.

Back to this come-back-home cry that you and your fellow African presidents like to make. It appears to me that you have never figure out why your fellow countrymen left the continent in the first place. Since you are not stupid, I presume you know the reasons – only you are so arrogant to face your own selves. Besides, why bother about nameless countrymen you only meet for a couple of minutes overseas?

So I heard your cry, but my answer is a huge “no”.

It is not like I don’t like Africa. I do. It is only that you made me a sweet deal to stay overseas. I bet you are flabbergasted by what that means. Don’t sweat it, for I will break it down for you.

Remember the billions of dollars you and your buddies in the system stole and stashed away in a European bank? Remember the fleet of expensive European and Japanese cars that you and your buddies keep on bragging about? Remember all those crazy contracts you have awarded to “white” folks? Remember all those shopping spree in Europe and America? Remember all those stupid medical check-ups you have overseas?

Well, I know the list is not exhaustive, but the common denominator is this – all those choices you have made are actually destroying the African progress, while building the economies of all those places I’m currently a resident. So I got me employed at a decent salary while receiving better good social services compared to what my aunt gets in the motherland. It is not that I like I'm proud of my aunt's situation - I just feel lucky a little bit.

OK, I didn’t mean to give you a pop quiz, but how many people do you think get employed in Japan when you order eighty (80) expensive Toyota SUVs at $50,000 each? [And that is excluding genuine spare parts that you will eventually order, since you have neglected building better roads].

That is why I think it is hypocritical and hilarious of you to ask me to come home, while the money you have stolen is actually right here, working for me. While it was nice of you to ask of me to come back home, I will continue staying right here. The Bible tells me that where "my" treasure is, my heart will follow. It just so happened that you and your buddies moved "my" treasure from the motherland to this foreign land.

So just move the cheese back to the motherland and I will show up.

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Photo credit: Agoa.gov